We go to a Hindu Wedding

I was full of wonder as I left my comfort zone to witness what to me was an unknown drama. We boarded a tiny but covered ferry. Rain threatened. We landed after a few moments on a tiny Island on the Thames; stepped up to a grey paved area before a modern building to the right. We were on Raven's Ait

I expected to see my sister in a sari,, She was the mother of the groom. But here was her husband Stephen and son Kevin, father and brother of the groom, both in Tamil dress. This was a reminder that a Hindu wedding involves the joining of families , not just individuals. Preparing for what I thought would be a lengthy rite I asked for the loo. My nephew Kevin swathed in clothes of cream and gold led me to a house in the shrubbery. A figure emerged from a side room. She looked as though she had climbed off some colourful Hindu bas relief, henna, gold and a bright sari. The figure greeted me “Uncle”. This was the bride who was to marry my nephew, Ian. Having greeted her I went to the main building to savoury snacks and to waiting for it all to begin.

I remember the event as we do most of the past, in snap shots. I am indebted to whoever wrote the superbly produced leaflet describing what was going on to us puzzled non-Hindus, for filling in the gaps.

We entered the Britannia Room. It might have been in a village hall anywhere in England,; but it had been adorned. Flowers encased the aisle and at the front an arch covered over and before with mainly white flowers There were over ten of us in our immediate family party.. We were urged to go further forward but shyly we wanted to stay in a row together. I regretted this later. I would like to have seen more of the ceremony.

The band came first They were loud and during the first part of the ceremony I did not pay much attention to them but my grandson stretched over to me and said.” They are really good”. He is a musician himself so I began to listen carefully and discovered a treasure trove of riffs and harmonies. Ian walked down the aisle with a teenage escort. Both were dressed in matching smart Tamil dress, Ian's hat had fan like structure on the front. He was in a jacket that buttoned to the neck. I remember cream and gold and purple.

For the first three stages of the wedding the groom was without his bride. He was welcomed, sanctified and blessed. At stage four the bride arrived with her entourage and in stage five she was transferred from her family to the groom's. She then received gifts from Ian and his family including a sari. During all this I became aware of was the chanting of two priests using Sanskrit and Tamil. They sat below the married couple who were on a dais. The bride then left the hall and changed into the sari she had been given.

On her return the music rose to a crescendo. The ritual became personal with gifts and food being exchanged. After this I noticed a bright flame burning from amongst the decorations. The couple processed around it three times. It was during the first circuit that the couple were reminded of their seven vows. It is these seven vows that made me think about the meaning of the Hindu Wedding ceremony. ( to nourish each other, to grow together in strength, to share our joy and sorrow, to live in love,to care for our family, to remain life long friends and to attain salvation.)

The rest of the ceremony was one of celebration. There was even a competition between the bride and the groom for a ring at the bottom of a basin of coloured water to predict who would be the predominant partner.